Archive for the ‘Adventures’ Category

The following is a quiz that every American expat wannabe to Mexico should be required by Mexican law to take. This will help you determine if moving to Mexico to spend the rest of your life here is right for you. It should be the basis whether Mexico issues you a visa to take one step onto Mexican soil.

1) The following will make you run screaming for the nearest taxi to get you to the airport for an emergency airlift back to the U.S.A.:

a. Large mountainous piles of dog poop on the sidewalks.

b. Pickup trucks parked in front of butcher shops with partially slaughtered, bloodied meat in the back.

c. Men, women, and children placing the snout of a pig onto a flour or corn tortilla, wrapping it, and then consuming it while making loud smacking and squishing sounds.

d. All the above.

2) The following will incite you to flapping your arms like a deranged windmill, cursing madly, and lecturing Mexicans in English (which they probably cannot comprehend):

a. Seeing a Mexican mother serving her child a taco for breakfast rather than Special K cereal with skim milk.

b. Seeing Mexicans eating a Styrofoam plate filled with refried beans, topped with the most virulent chilies, and chips morning, noon, and night.

c. Witnessing the rolling corn-on-the-cob shack woman slathering copious amounts of FAT FULL mayonnaise on corn on the cob and then stuffing it into the mouth of a 2-year-old.

d. None of the above since you come from America where more than 67% of the population is fatter than hogs and so what the hell do you know about good nutrition anyway!

3) You can tolerate the following without needing massive amounts of tranquilizers or an open-ended Prozac prescription:

a. Invisible marching drummer and bugle bands that you can hear every night starting at 7:30 p.m., playing the same hideously repetitive tune, from another dimension that is bleeding over into your reality (you hear them but they cannot ever be seen!).

b. Warfare-grade explosives being set off during the day or night for the advent of a fiesta which rattle windows, cause paintings to fall off the walls and jar you senseless.

c. Banshee screaming men roaming the streets as soon it is daylight screaming the words, “gas” and “water”.

d. Barking dogs, crowing roosters, quacking ducks and geese, screeching parrots, honking car alarms, all going off simultaneously outside your bedroom window at all possible hours of the day or night.

4) You find the following events thrilling:

a. Stores that never open (ever) at their posted hours.

b. Stores that never, ever post their hours.

c. Stores that will only carry a certain item once a year or never again as long as you both shall live.

d. Stores that play wild music so loudly that when your wife asks you something you can see her mouth move but hear nothing coming out of it.

5) You desire to move to Mexico is because:

a. You want to live in an established American expat community where Mexicans, like slaves, wait on you hand and foot for the rest of your life.

b. You want to help Americanize another Mexican town with all your American pathologies until the town is unrecognizable as Mexican.

c. You are on the lam from the law in more than one country for income tax evasion.

d. You want to help drive up the prices of real estate until no Mexicans living or who have ever lived could possibly afford to live in their own town.

Please answer all of these questions as honestly as possible and forward them to The President of the Republic of Mexico (whoever that turns out to be) in care of Mexico City, Mexico.

Your expatriation depends on it!

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These days there are lots of different types of cruises that you can go on. The television is littered with commercials for everything from family cruises to adventure cruises to celebrity cruises and everything in between. There are so many different types of cruises to choose from, that the special features are just as integral to the trip as the cruise itself. From Disney family cruises to safari trips to celebrity comfort, there is a special adventure from everyone, man or woman from infancy to one hundred and one. Below are outlined just a couple of these different types of cruises and what they have to offer.

American Safari Cruises offer five different adventure destinations: the pacific northwest, Alaskan wilderness, Columbia and Snake rivers, Mexico’s sea of Cortes, and California wine country. These five different trips combine the luxurious on ship experience with rugged outdoor adventures to cater to the different sides of personality in all of us. These are small, focused tour groups, and the three ships in the fleet carry only from twelve to twenty one passengers each. This provides for an in depth, attentive and community building experience for all. Whether you are relaxing and sipping wine in Napa or trekking the same path that Lewis and Clarke took, you will be able to test your personal comfort level without having to give up any personal comforts.

Ancient Adventures Cruises is an experience rich in history and character. With packages ranging from Turkey to Kenya, experienced tour guides from all walks of life personally guide guests through the ancient artifacts of historical civilizations. These trips are more package adventures than cruises, combining luxurious land accommodations with the cruise trips. Private chauffeured cars take guests to the many exotic locations that this international travel company services. Former palaces and historical sites converted to hotel accommodations round out this rich cultural experience for guests in all different nations. Also, you can combine different trips together to make as short or as long and as varied an experience as you would like. With three international offices, and many guides that hold advances degrees in archaeology and history, you will find whatever cultural or language specific accommodations that you seek.

Windjammer Barefoot Cruises offer a huge variety of cruises, from a 7 day stay in Panama and Costa Rica exploring the rainforest to a photography contest themed cruise, there is a little bit of something for everyone all over the Pacific and the Caribbean. In addition to a huge variety of locations, from the Bahamas to Mexico, Windjammer Barefoot Cruises offers several different themed cruises. There is the Pirate’s week once a year, and then the Serenity cruise, which is focused on the well being and rejuvenation of all passengers. The most popular by far though is the Single’s cruise. What better way to meet the new love of your life than on a luxury cruise ship? Windjammer does a great job of packing the ship with equal numbers of men and women, so there is always something for everyone.

Who doesn’t love traveling? It’s one of life’s greatest pleasures and can often be a luxury! Some people like to travel to Prague, others like to travel to Puerto Rico, a few like to take the extreme route and go surfing in the Maldives. Regardless of where you go, you should always have two things with you: traveler’s insurance and an extra pair of glasses. Traveler’s insurance is great to have because it protects you in case of theft and if you have traveler’s health insurance, you are covered on many sides for extra health care issues that may arise.

Buy why take eyeglasses? First, if you are like 60% of the population, you need eyeglasses anyway. What happens if they break while you are on holiday? What happens if a lens pops out? If you wear contact lenses – what do you do if you misplace a lens and do not have any to spare? Not only do you need a pair of glasses with you – you need a spare set of prescription glasses … just in case.

If you are traveling to a country with a decent health care system and they can understand your language, you can probably get away with just bringing a copy of your eyeglass prescription. However, if you’re on a cruise ship or on a tour of Europe, bringing a spare pair of prescription glasses with you is a much smarter idea! It’s also cheaper than buying a pair of glasses in a foreign country. You can always go without a spare pair of frames but they you risk ruining your vacation if you cannot see where you are going and you can’t distinguish the leaning tower of Pisa from the leaning tower of Niles.

You are probably thinking that buying an additional set of glasses is going to be a costly effort for a problem that may not arise. It doesn’t have to be costly. You can buy glasses online from many online retailers. You an also take 10% off any order of glasses from GlassesUSA.com when you use the code Blog10. It saves you more and makes you feel a little more secure when traveling abroad. You can travel in style without breaking the bank!